NewYears IED

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Force Meets Ease and Loses

A significant amount of my down time in the Army was spent laughing about and dealing with all things elimination.

Fart jokes,
Where to shit dilemmas
Can't poop
Can't stop
Pin worms

I can't speak for the rest of the army but I will speak for my battles.

One of my fondest memories in the Army was at Fort AP Hill, in Virginia.

Training ended, we are racked out and I'm walking back from the latrine. As I'm walking to my bunk I begin to feel a tremendous pressure build in my guts.
It's the perfect rip,
nothing in front of it but volume.

I time it just right and bust ass right in the middle of a card game.

The eruption of laugher that followed my bellow was deafening.

I've never felt so loved.

I still have that force production, and bring it to bear
not as often as before
but on occasion.

Anyway, last week, I'm sitting in the handicap stall of my gym's bathroom, which I fondly think of as my office, and in walks my boss.
I can tell by his shoes.

I hear him put down a paper seat cover two stalls over.

He sits


Seems to only wipe once

Gets up

Pushes the paper in.




The ease

The efficiency

I was totally jealous.

If we looked at my guts and his as armies, his would look like the presidents honor guard and mine the dirty dozen.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad I have a good sense of humor. You listening to your boss in the next stall - very funny!

    Get yourself some Fiber One Bran cereal. :)