NewYears IED

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Rage Monsters attack Babyville

Last Thursday I watched my kid being born.

This experience answered, for me, the question as to whether or not we are made in the imagine and likeness of God.

It is now very clear to me that there is divinity in each one of use.

That said, divinity by itself is not what my little kid is. We may all be sparks from a fire but that spark has still gotta contend with eating, pooping, sleeping and learning how to use its senses.

This new little human also has to now contend with the other sparks around her and for little Allegra, she has to deal with her dad who's spark always has the potential to flare up into an inferno.

Being at the hospital last week was mostly a wonderful experience. I got frustrated however with how those in authority advised us to handle uncertainty.

Ready for an Iraq story?

Two months and 42 missions into my deployment our Company Commander decided to come out into sector with us. We all mostly liked our leader so his presence wasn't a problem.

We went out to a neighborhood and started doing our thing. As this was his very first time outside the wire he stayed in the gun turret and watched us engage with the locals on the ground.

At one point he called me over to the side of the Humvee and started lecturing me on how I was not conducting Psyops properly.

I remember looking up at him as he expressed himself with the best intentions and wanting to punch him in the throat.

His entire understanding of Psyops came from a book and on his first mission he's going to tell me what to do?

My strategy for dealing with rage monsters in Iraq was to hold my tongue and "Roger That" all the way home. That said I was heated. "Why are you trying to empower yourself, I'm the one on the ground," I wanted to scream.

This same monster showed up several times in the hospital. Different doctors and authority figures kept giving us different guidance. As we became overwhelmed by conflicting information and impossible schedules, the rage monster grew.

The feeling of righteous indignation is very familiar to me. I like it and yet here again it's expression would have been useless at best, disruptive and harmful at worst.

Instead I was patient. I lets things flow. Instead of operating from a space of rage I tried operating from that place of divinity.

If you agree with me that we are built in the image and likeness of God then would you not agree that there is a place, a part, an essence of you that is divine? What then is that space like?

I think patience is what that space is like and thats why I still train, why I still sit.

I know the monsters will return.

Whether in Iraq,
or here,
or wherever,
there will always be the choice to operate
from fire
or divinity.

Meditation gives me room to maneuver on rage before I lose the opportunity to be patient with the situation at hand
I think that's categorically, implicitly,
fucking divine.

This post was guided by the 72st stanza of the Art of Peace, a book written by Morihei Ueshiba
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Try this meditation I created around the seed sounds of the chakras.

Thrive as a civilian.


  1. A baby girl - how sweet and "divine!" Congratulations!

    There is nothing like a new human being coming into the world. Everyone turns into an authority. Keep in mind that it is (in most cases)prompted by love and concern.

    Hate to tell you this, but it never ends.

    Someone gave my mother a yellow "rubber ducky" bath toy. She was told to place it where she can see it when necessary. It's symbolism: When a stressful issue arises, let it slide off your back like water slides off the back of a duck.


    Happy poopy diaper changing. xoxo

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