NewYears IED

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Eight Years and a Wake-Up

The morning of my first day in the Army I woke up shivering under an AC vent. I had been shoved into a barracks without blankets or a pillow and told to find a cot and sleep.

Fat chance.

I shivered.

I awoke to screaming.
I lost my identity to a haircut and a uniform.

To erase my mind the Army worked my body.

As a civilian I was weak, unable to pass the first PT test. But I wanted to be apart of something bigger so I worked my ass off and passed the test.

Team was bigger
so I trained.

Army was bigger
so I suffered in silence.

America was bigger
so I ignored the pain.

The cause we were needed for was bigger
so I swallowed my fear.

As moments passed I awoke a soldier, fortified by suffering.

The fact that I could do it filled me with pride. The fact that I belonged gave me purpose.

I am a soldier.

I am a soldier.

I am a soldier at war.

Like a fuckin fish to water what would I rather be?

Humping armor, dodging IEDs and snipers, God must truely find my path righteous......why else did I make it through.

The training,
thank you for the training.

The toughness,
thank you for the toughness.

The team,
thank you for the team.

The Army,
thank you for the Army.

The Cause,
thank you for the cause.

I am yours.

Eight years and a wake up,
now what?

Oak seeds grow into Oak trees. Apple seeds grow into apple trees.

Soldiers grow into.........

It took me a while to realize that the Army does not care. The Army taught me to care about it but ultimately the Army can't care about me. The Army will always come before the soldier.

If you hadn't noticed the Army is dropping soldiers like flies. Remember when they were paying any and everybody to join? Now you can't join if you have tattoos on your forearms or shins.

The Army doesn't want me anymore.
The identity,
the purpose,
was a dream.

King, Wake Up.

"I Am" AFRAID.

The Army gave me training, armor and a team to handle the fear but now as a civilian I am on my own.......

Wait a minute, Am I?

Made in the Image and likeness of My Creator
BIGGER

Father, Son, Holy Spirit
BIGGER

Eternal soul
BIGGER

What does soul grow into?

When people witnessed the way Buddha was so chill, wise, and even, they didn't ask him who he was, they asked him what he was?

You know what he said......

"Awake"

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