A Perilous Hour.

Where does changing who you are begin? Does it begin by simply sitting on your couch and listening to a mindfulness meditation? Does it begin by counting your inhales? Does it begin in a yoga class?

For me it began in my mind.

I'm loath to admit this, but I am just beginning to realize how powerful my mind is. The sneakiness of weakness last week was an understatement.

Think about it like this: even if I am in a yoga class, listening to a mindfulness meditation, standing on my head and all I can think about is my next drink or my next distraction, I am still reinforcing old patterns.

What I'm finding through this fast is just how pervasive my thoughts are. Like I said last week, my fantasies about food were really strong even though my hunger was not.

Think about the way the Tactical Operations Command (TOC) operates the rest of the force. If the word comes down from higher you better get you ass in gear and make it happen, Hooah.

Now what happens when Higher is disrupted? In Iraq, we had some private sneak out of the FOB wearing nothing but his reflector belt. Higher shut everything else down to fix that problem.

That's what I mean by the mind controls everything. Where is it? What's it doing? What I've learned 11 days into this fast is that my mind is still working to get back to the old ways. And I'm not talking about my mind just wants to go back to eating regular healthy fully balanced meals.

My mind wants to FEAST.

I consider this fast, deep training. In other words, I'm really screwing with what my mind considers standard operating procedure.

I get kinda a kick out of screwing with my mind, I look at it as payback for all the times my mind got fixated on the notion that I was a piece or crap or the times that it kept me from sleeping.

I jest but be forewarned that going into deep training is like going into a deep dark cave to slay a dragon. The mind is tricky, manipulative and conniving.

Want a taste? Try delaying your next meal, smoke, drink, habit by one hour. Be careful not to just distract yourself with something else. Now, watch the different ways your mind explains, rationalizes, cajoles and complains during your departure for normal.

This post was guided by the 45th stanza of the Art of Peace, a book written by Morihei Ueshiba
Armor Down now has a website. Check it out.

If you like the AD Facebook page and I'll email you the PDF of a book called "Mindfulness in Practical English".

Lisa Wimberger's meditations:

Grounding Your Armor

Neutral Space

Mind Cordon

Riding the Sun

Thrive as a civilian.